


Sneaky Butlers Do The Trick

by yoshitakamine



Category: DC Animated Universe, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, bc you love the characters and can't bear to see them suffering, lawful_good.jpeg, tfw you want to write a full angst piece but chicken out last min
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoshitakamine/pseuds/yoshitakamine
Summary: It turns out Bruce and Clark cannot agree on anything. Much less choose between a road trip to Kansas and the usual lavish, candlelit dinner by Gotham bay. Luckily for them, outside forces had other plans for their evening.





	

“Bruce...” Clark let out a sigh “are you even listening to me?”

Bruce looked up for a split second, the white of the cowl’s retinal system reflecting the slightest of light, then duck back to the screen in front of him.

“Yes and _No_. I just don’t get why this has to be such a big deal.”

Yes sure, anniversaries weren’t Bruce Wayne’s _forte_ , not even his weak point, _he was just indifferent altogether_. Which is what currently perplexed Clark, because let’s face it; Bruce could get a point across in many, creative ways. A candlelit dinner by the moonlight in some 5-star Gotham restaurant, expensive gifts Clark felt were unnecessary (but staple to any other normal ‘human’, like a car that didn’t break down every 2 miles) and saying the right thing at the right moment. Like those three words he’d get out him every now and then. Mostly in times of distress where you couldn’t really bring it up again and oh how shrewd and clever of him..

“It _doesn’t_ have to be if you don’t _want it_ to be.” Clark sighed in resignation.

Bruce exhaled sharply, like he caught the implication behind that and took off his cowl, black strands of hair falling on his face.

“I’m rich. I’m filthy rich, I could fly you to the moon right this instant. Why on earth do you want us to milk cows in the middle of nowhere for our anniversary?”

“Is it so bad that I want you to visit my folks? That I- _oh I don’t know_ -“ Clark got up, fists and teeth clenched, his entire body tensing up “I want the man I love to experience a part of me, a part that’s made me who I am today?”

Bruce fell silent at that. His eyes cast downwards, his hands palming his chin like he was in deep thought. This meant a lot to him, he realized that now. And the way he put it- like he was sharing a part of his upbringing with him, that was like a stab to the chest.

“I didn’t realize that-“

“Of course you didn’t. You never do Bruce. You think not splitting the bill with me in some classy restaurant is going to make me fall in love with you.”

Now that was just unfair, and Bruce focused on Clark’s eyes with such intensity he was sure he’d tear a whole through his invulnerable body. He had misunderstood the entire point of those ‘fancy’ night outings.

“And so me trying to acquaintance you with a comfortable way of living is a burden…”

Now they both shared a most uncomfortable silence. Two different points of view and yet they completed each other. That’s why they were together in the first place, but sometimes it seemed bizarre even to them. The farm boy from Kansas made to Metropolis city boy and a playboy billionaire born and raised in Gotham.

“I don’t need…the luxury Bruce. The models you dated maybe loved the flashy cars and nightclubs but I’m not them.”

“You’ve made that much evident.”

“Yes and how I just…I just need _you_.” Clark cleared his throat, a desperate choke threatening to come out. “I just need you… _Bruce_.”

Bruce’s look softened but he remained in his seat, slightly spinning back and forth, and avoiding Clark’s line of sight. He wasn’t content with that answer. Somehow… he felt it wasn’t enough. Just him wouldn’t be enough. His time was divided between work and more work and being an attentive significant other in their world was… unheard of.

“Am I … really what you need?” he drawled, not really caring if he heard him or not. Which he did, super hearing and all that. “Am I really enough for the Man of Steel, Clark?”

“It’s unlike you to be insecure Bruce-“ he came closer, but Bruce instantly jerked up and moved away from the computer and him.

“I’m not insecure about my worth as a person I’m insecure about me being in a relationship. You know those never work with me.”

Bruce wasn’t wrong and that much could be proven. He wasn’t emotional in the sense Clark or any other significant other would’ve wanted him to be. Was it a mistake then, for them to develop into something more than teammates, or friends? A question that invaded his thoughts more often than not.

Clark’s barely audible sigh made his chest tighten up. He was going to lose him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“What do you want me to say Bruce? Is there something I can do?” he offered, a voice completely unshakable and devoid of the tenderness it held a few minutes ago.

“Alfred can show you the way out.”

“No goddamn it! Don’t you _dare_ act like this conversation is over!”

Bruce got up, a decisive punch meeting with Clark’s jaw, perfectly aligned like he had been waiting to let it out the moment Clark stepped foot in the cave. It hurt him more than it did Clark. His fingers were slightly swollen and he could feel them throbbing underneath the gauntlets. Bruce removed one, taking his hand to inspect the bruises on his knuckles.

“Let me see that.”

He let Clark rub his thumb gently over the reddened skin, the sensation slightly ticklish and sending a shiver right through him. Clark would often let him ease in on a touch. He’d start slow, his movements delicate and precise then move up to kiss the inside of his palm. Then his fingers, one by one, making sure not to bite- he wasn’t trying to seduce Bruce, he was trying to show him that beneath the rough exterior, he was a fragile soul that need to be handled accordingly. Everything he did, everything he tried to be, was for the people he loved, the _city_ he loved. In essence, love was what drove him to become what he is today.

“You sure did a number on it. I’ll have to call my insurance later, see if I can wind up with a new medical plan. ” Bruce snorted and detached his hand from Clark’s vice grip on it. The man could get unbearably overprotective when it came to Bruce’s bodily integrity. “One that covers Kryptonian-incurred damages.” 

“You’re not funny. You could’ve broken your wrist, dislocated your shoulder!”

“So I’ve been told. And Clark..please. I’ve punched aliens _twice_ your size before.” He stated matter-of-factly, and he had, just not in the heat of the moment and not because of some silly argument over a road trip to the Midwest. Which made this, _a first_.

“Well that makes me feel _so_ much better. Knowing you’re out there risking your life for absolutely no reason.” he scoffed.

A shadow emerged from behind the stairs to the Manor, a food cart slowly moving its way towards them. “What did we learn, gentlemen?” Alfred’s deadpan voice echoed through the cavern’s walls.

“That using your stealthy butler techniques on us doesn’t work?” Bruce challenged, his bruised hand hidden behind his back in an equally stealthy manner.

Alfred approached them in the same silent and inconspicuous way he had entered, holding a tray with his infamous cucumber sandwiches most Wayne family members were too chivalrous to complain about.

“Wrong, Master Bruce.” He poured coffee in two identical china cups, a handful of sugar cubes for Bruce, and resumed “The moral behind your argument with Mister Kent, is that you should never resolve your differences with violence.”

Clark let a familiar laugh escape him, and Bruce couldn’t help but enjoy how complacent Alfred’s life lessons made him feel. Now at least, he could share the hour long lectures with someone else.

“Oh and sir” he turned around to face them both “I _will_ be taking a look at that later.”

“ _Oh.._ ” Bruce gasped incredulously “I thought _I_ was the renowned and ever sharp-eyed detective here.”

Alfred cleared his throat, a clear indication he was about to put the oldest of the Waynes in his place, _rightfully so_. “Yes but if I may remind you sir, I’m the one who is time and again stitching up said detective’s carelessly inflicted lacerations.”

“You’re right.. Alfred..” Bruce declared like a child finally giving in to his parents’ requests. It was impossible to argue with someone who’s had to tie your shoelaces for you as a child.

“When am I not, sir..” his voice lingered, as he made his way to the upper level of the cave.

Bruce turned around to a grin having completely overtaken Clark’s face that seemed to be holding back a laugh, because the corners of his mouth had formed a perfect crescent moon.

“What…?” He asked, blue eyes narrowed at the ones staring back at him.

“Nothing… it’s just that” Clark was struggling to form words, snorting and making various sounds like he was short of breath. “I can’t believe you were defeated by a ninja butler.”

Bruce groaned, that being the last straw for Clark, who let out a ridiculously loud and rambunctious laugh that may or may not have agitated half the bats in the cave.

“If this isn’t perfectly solid ground for a breakup I don’t know what it is.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘marriage’.”

“ _In your dreams_ , Kansas boy.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I realize now I mostly delve into very cliche scenarios but I'll eventually pick up my pace and come up with something not as conventional for a storyline.... till then enjoy me trying to cover up the angst with five hundred layers of fluff. The fluff part is a self insert, I just want Bruce Wayne to glow in bliss.


End file.
